The fake Rochelle and the fake Marvin are really struggling
Anyone who runs Fake Showbiz News on Twitter needs formal recognition for entertainment services.
The parody account remains the best thing on the Internet to this day. He literally never fails. Never gets old. Just a constant stream of absurd and obviously fake situational laughs.
Stray tweets are golden in themselves. Just a celebrity making a sweeping statement with a puzzled photo to go with it.
But where Fake Showbiz News makes its way is with the sagas. The racing jokes. There are some poor celebrities who are now so engrossed in the weird and imaginary story of the FSN that I have had to set up Twitter alerts so I don’t miss the latest fictional storyline update.
It’s the kind of stuff that makes you gasp on the train all by yourself. The real belly laughs.
Here are 10 of the best running sagas on @FakeShowbizNews:
The different frolics of Dolmio Day
I don’t care if this is the change from the all-important Dolmio Day or if it’s an update on what Sofia Dolmio, aka Italy’s most iconic puppet, is doing. If Fake Showbiz News tweets the word Dolmio, it’s funny.
Cat Deeley hates Snow Patrol
One of the most prolific sagas is Cat Deeley’s endless FICTIONAL hatred for Snow Patrol. Fake Cat Deeley really wants this group wiped off the face of the earth and it’s hysterical.
Richard Hammond pissed off by gays
It is an exaggerated saga, but based on the truth. Richard Hammond has been criticized for saying in reference to consuming a chocolate Magnum: “It’s okay, I don’t eat ice cream. It’s something to do with being straight.
… Alright, Rich! Either way, Fake Showbiz News took the fragile masculinity and ran with it.
Adrian Chiles is unnecessarily aroused
A rude one but a good one.
Jessie J’s imaginary slaughterhouse chain
This one is so absurd but so golden. Jessie J and a slaughterhouse chain are two things that just don’t have the right to work in such perfect harmony. The fiction Jessie J being the tyrannical CEO of a pig slaughter empire is so visceral and evil – always a laugh from me!
Emma Bunton is always boring
The portrayal of fictional Emma Bunton as that really boring mate of your mother that you meet at the supermarket and have to listen to their gossip is too real.
* literally insert anything * VS. Predator
Kidding aside, I would literally pay to see it all.
Olly Murs being a little thick
Simple but effective comedy. No shade for Fake Olly, but these don’t seem like overkill.
Kylie Minogue being unusually angry and negative
It’s so funny because the real Kylie is an absolute angel on earth – a ray of sunshine and a national treasure. Fake Showbiz News Kylie is a borderline sadist.
Rochelle and Marvin
Poor, poor, poor false Marvin and false Rochelle Humes. In real life, they have one of the happiest marriages in showbiz.
In the land of Fake Showbiz News, all is not well. But GOD, that’s comedy gold.
Follow showbiz fake news on @FakeShowbizNews on Twitter.
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