Thursday morning, and us here at the Mirror.
Thursday morning, and we here at Mirror.co.uk’s Showbiz Towers can barely stand the excitement as Celebrity Masterchef cooks up what we hope will be a boiling finale tomorrow night.
According to our sauces, sorry, sources, one of the three finalists cracks LIKE AN EGG tonight under the pressure (cook) to try to win the competition.
Will it be perfectionist and former children’s TV presenter Andi Peters, who big-faced chefs John Torode and Gregg Wallace say often lacks flavor in his dishes?
Will it be former Atomic Kitten sweetheart Liz McClarnon, a newbie before entering the kitchen, who we know wants to be our new best friend? A new best friend who cooks us dinner, of course.
Or will it be Mark “Who?” Moragan (apparently in Holby City), who has been “on the road” to get there “always gives 110%” and is “passionate” about food, which makes him look like an apprentice candidate.
We support Liz as she is the only true natural cook and she has done wonders given that beans on toast had been the limits of her cooking skills before she turned the fire on Master Chef.
Don’t forget to attend the semi-final tonight where our intrepid trio are taken to Mozambique to cook under the blazing sun. In the meantime, here is Mirror.co.uk’s huge serving of hot gossip, served on a bed of steamy showbizâ¦
Lindsay Lohan Plays Cameo Role As Fast Food Waitress On Ugly Betty
Sienna Miller’s private parts digitally enhanced for the movie Hippie Hippie Shake
Angelina Jolie takes volume for the sequel to The Thomas Crown Affair
Sex Pistol John Lydon denies racist attack on Bloc Party’s Kele Okereke – but Super Furries Gruff says he did
Rhys Ifans celebrates his 40th birthday with a booze bender
Other featured stories
Is the countdown cursed? Des O’Connors to be leaving a game show in November
Hear DJ Sarah Kennedy’s Tears On Air Over The Hero Soldier
The cost of hiring a pop star for a private party
Ex-nanny fired on reality TV show sues Jordan and Peter Andre
Eastenders posts worst audience figures in six years
The best of the rest
We hope you are seated, because we have almost unbearably shocking news for you. Reports reach us that Sarah Jessica Parker’s seemingly perfect 11-year-old marriage to Matthew Broderick has been rocked by claims he had an affair with a 25-year-old youth worker. The allegations are that the actor got comfortable with the mysterious woman while Sarah was filming Sex And The City: The Movie. SGP! We are outraged with rage on your behalf, whether it is true or not.
First, we learned that his daughter Peaches had to be resuscitated after a drug overdose this weekend. But maybe we are unfair to speculate. Maybe it actually contains a rolled up piece of paper with her name and address written on it in case she lost her mind so much that she forgot where she lived.
Elsewhere, oddly hairless and unattractive professional diver, sorry footballer Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured during his seemingly permanent vacation wearing tiny shiny shorts and not much more than a mahogany tan and baby oil. The information that he is auditioning for the return of The Village People is unfortunately totally made up.
And if that wasn’t enough to keep us from having lunch, David Hasselhoff was also pictured leaving everything lying around near his home in Los Angeles. Hilariously, he must have seen the photographer come in and breathe to try and hide his beer gut – but eventually he ran out of oxygen and the fat spread all over his shorts again. Bless. It reminds us so much of our father.
And finally, congratulations to Ethan Hawke and his new wife Ryan Shawhughes who are celebrating the birth of their first child together – a baby girl named Clementine Jane. The little girl arrived exactly one month after their secret wedding. One wonders if his beautiful name was inspired by the song of the same name by Mark Owen, was it his biggest solo success after he left Take That? We prefer to think about it frankly rather than the fact that Shawhughes was the nanny of Ethan and Uma’s children, Maya and Levon …
Okay, that’s your lot because the timer has just sounded and we don’t want to overcook this particular gossip pudding. And don’t forget to keep clicking here for all the latest showbiz news updates throughout the day. Want to share your thoughts on today’s best stories? Click here and chat on the Mirror.co.uk showbiz forums. See you tomorrow for another delicious portion …